Surprising Info on Sensitive Kids—How emotions can affect physical health

I believe physical ailments are often linked to our emotional state. A few years ago, my son experienced a series of irritations that eventually led to a pretty big awareness for both of us.

First he had a cough. Despite my diligent cleaning efforts (insert a bit of sarcasm), we figured out that it was possible that he was sensitive to dust. I had also heard from my good friend and integrative pediatrician Sheila Kilbane, M.D., that old carpeting can be an irritant. We removed the carpeting in his room to reveal hardwood flooring that is much easier to keep clean. However, this only had a minimal impact on Andrew’s cough at night.

We proceeded to go down this path of exploring his sensitivity to dust. We had a very powerful shift one night as he and I decided we had made dust the enemy. We intended to change how we were perceiving the dust. We had given dust quite a bit of power over him. I asked Andrew to go within and ask what the real definition of dust was. (This may sound outlandish, but for young kids, it seems to make sense.)

He got quiet for a while and then said to me, “Well, if everything is God, then dust is God too, just small pieces of God.” So, we talked about this for a moment and I suggested Andrew go within and see if he could accept this new definition rather than the one he/we had previously held about dust being the bad guy. He was taking some extra time while contemplating this. Then I realized he was asleep and breathing freely. This irritation quickly melted away.

Following the dust incident, over the course of the next couple weeks, Andrew got a number of yellow jacket stings, experienced a full body rash and then ended up getting a case of ring worm. The ring worm, which is a fungus, was contagious and meant he could not go to school. We got the medication for this skin condition and ended up getting to spend the day together.

Intuitively, I knew I was missing something—an important piece to this puzzle. It hit me that we were engaged in a whole series of irritations. As soon as one seemed to be resolved, another took its place. Andrew and I had a heart to heart conversation. I asked him what was irritating him. I listened and continued asking as many open-ended questions as possible. I wasn’t triggered at all, just dedicated to helping him work through whatever was the root cause of all of the irritations.

To my surprise, he started telling me about two boys that he had regular contact with who were constantly arguing. He detailed their interactions and it was clear that the negativity between the two of them was having a big impact on Andrew. I understood that the interactions didn’t include Andrew, but he was obviously feeling the anger, sadness and all together intensity of these interactions as if he were directly involved. I was a sensitive child and continue to be sensitive to others’ emotions as an adult. It’s one of the qualities that helps me to guide others through their challenges. It never occurred to me until this point that Andrew was equally sensitive. And, just like myself as a child, he was not aware he that he was absorbing others’ stuff and certainly didn’t have the tools to clear these emotions.

It all made sense. The timing of the discord between these two boys all coincided with his cough and the other irritations. I took Andrew through a child’s version of the 4 C’s—my process for identifying and releasing negative patterns and limiting beliefs and then reprogramming. I simplified everything, and together we created a series of visualizations and the corresponding feelings that would help him to clear his own emotions, as well as any he was experiencing from others.

I reminded him daily to do this process—morning and evening. The irritations all went away, and I witnessed my son starting to come into a very empowered place. He still has a tendency to take on others’ emotions. As long as I am not triggered, I can help to remind him and guide him to release these emotions.